Maybe it was yesterday's rain, but today, the trees in Lowell bloomed white flowers, like the trees 3 weeks ago in North Carolina. We've finally caught up to what is perfect in my mind, but we're still so far behind.
The sun was going down, and we were racing, Tyler at the wheel and me right next to him with the warm GPS in my hands...."300 miles doesn't seem that far". By the time we hit Virginia, it was dark. We were both alert, listening to the engine of my blue car, and trying to see the exit for route 15 to take us East towards Norfolk, where a boy was born by my brother's name, raised, and wrote music that touched hundreds of people before he died, too young.
I know someone with shaggy hair and square-rimmed glasses who still believes in this life. He's never been broken down in Walterboro, or locked out of his car in Ipswich, Massachusetts. But he can laugh at himself when he sings out of tune, and wrap his head around the way his parent's made him feel.
He knows, that when you say goodbye because you are going to your next destination, your sadness is countered by anticipation. When you say goodbye to someone that is leaving you, it makes your head ache, and your heart long.
Everyone was leaving today...and I wasn't going with them, so what was I supposed to do?
Can't we talk about sound? About Dr. Lloyd's sound world? About time-graph notation and the knowledge that comes after 2 years of training? I can't study. I could go work on the farm, but it would only take me 3 tanks of gas to get south and I have that kind of money in my bank account. So what do I want more than anything?
It might be time to move South. A semester or 2 of community college. Music that makes my heart feel warm...singing the way I want to sing, no matter how out of tune, to the words that I want to be singing. I am a young mountain, a factor in the equation without a solution, and 45 minutes from Baltimore, MD.
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