Study

Writing lists helps you get things done.

Today I swallowed my fears and walked up to a factory door. I sat in a clear shower stall while they handed me chemicals to smell and showed me colors to identify them with. Just once I want to know what its like to be bitter, or to hold a grudge so innate, I would hurt myself to see it through.

Are we supposed to stay the same our entire lives? I've been practicing because I want to be better, reading cause I want to be smarter, answering phone calls and emails to act responsible, and most of all, moving on.

If you were still alive, and we met, I'm sure we would like each other. You would be able to see the battle raging inside of me. We would drive straight to Saratoga, New York and resolve it. We'd put our guns in the ground, and shake hands like gentlemen. If you were still alive, I am sure you'd understand. Therefore, I think its okay that I'm sad you're gone.